I recently went into my parents attic looking for something I had in storage. I didn’t find it but I came across an ancient scroll. When I saw what it was I realized that I had a great responsibility to share the knowledge that the elders passed onto us. So here it is:
- Thou shall keep thy bicycle clean and lubed.
- Thou shall call out hazards in the road so that thou friends behindeth be fairly warned.
- Thou shall not wear thy undies with thy chamois.
- Thou shall inflate thy tires prior to each ride.
- Thou shall remain hydrated throughout thy ride.
- Thou shall not go hard on thy recovery ride.
- Thou shall look behind you before blowing thy snot rocket or hocking thy lugie so as to not hit the person behind you.
- Thou shall not half wheel the person in fronteth you.
- Thou shall not cheat on thy Strava segment.
- Thou shall not take the name of Eddie Merckx in vain.
There had to be a reason that I came across it so please don’t let this important message be written in vain. Live by the wisdom of our elders and may all of your miles be merry and bright!